I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
