Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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