Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
