You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
