Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
