I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
