my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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