Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
