Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
