No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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