nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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