Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
