I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
