I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
