Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
