your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
