my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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