Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
