I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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