she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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