everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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