So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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