you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
