Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
