hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
