She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
