I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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