Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
