I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
