Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
