i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
vagina is talking i cant
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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