all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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