doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
