we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
