If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
