hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
