He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
