If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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