he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
