He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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