I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
