i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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