I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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