everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
