He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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