Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
