is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
