did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
