My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
