I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
not ubering you a puppy
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
