I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
