I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize