Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
