So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
