I wish my penis had an off switch
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
