I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
