maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
