I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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