4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
