I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
