4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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