I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
