i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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