the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
