I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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