I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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