By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
